Hi everyone! It’s been a while. Like many of you, I have been doing my best to navigate through our new normal. It’s not always easy. I recently found myself waking up and sometimes dreading the action of getting out of bed. I felt angry in the morning, as I knew how the day was about to unfold, which includes remote learning, taking care of a very busy baby, working from home, taking care of the household and my businesses, and so much more. I am usually a bubbly person, so this was completely out of the norm. I found myself focusing on the negatives and not the positives of my day. I realized that this was going on for over a week or two. I would also cry often, but in short, spurts, cause I didn’t allow myself to go through the emotions. That’s because I often tried to put on a brave and happy face for my kids. Yet, I felt like I was breaking or breaking down. Then I did some introspection and knew that something wasn’t right.
As moms, preserving our mental health and emotional wellness is critically important. In order for our kids and family to be ok, we must first ensure that we are ok. Emotional wellness is a part of our mental health that we often forget to manage. According to the National Center for Emotional Wellness, the term refers to an awareness, understanding, and acceptance of your emotions, and your ability to manage effectively through challenges and change.
The definition says, “manage effectively through challenges and change.” This means we have to put in the work to maneuver through life’s obstacles and constant changes. I started making small changes which I am listing below, and I am seeing improvements. Mental and emotional health, just like physical health, require you to put in the work. We all deserve to be well!
Here are a few things I added to my emotional wellness routine.
1. Get Some Sleep – This has been a struggle for me since Jaxon is going through a sleep regression, but I try to get at least six hours of sleep. I also dread going to bed early, because at night, as all parents know, it’s the first time we get to hear our thoughts, watch a movie of our choice, and decompress the day. But we must do our best to get at least seven hours of sleep. Feeling overwhelmed is often tied to our lack of sleep and feelings of exhaustion. If you must, and if you can, take a nap in the day. What about naps? Nobody working from home can say they didn’t take a nap at least once during the past couple of months. I am sure when you woke up, you felt a bit rested and was able to take on the balance of the day. Don’t feel guilty! Just do it and be a better version of yourself.
2. Get Lit – OK! I don’t mean in the literal sense of getting drunk. I mean “getting lit” by lighting a candle and enjoying the associated calming sensations that come with that action and the sense of smell which directly affects our moods and emotions. I know this first hand because I recently launched our candle business Chaconia Candles. In my explorations, I found research that confirmed that the sense of smell plays a vital role in your emotions and moods and can help reduce stress and anxiety. Because we cannot separate the body from the mind, studies have also shown that fragrances’ stimulation produces immediate changes in blood pressure, muscle tension, pupil dilation, skin temperature, pulse rate, and brain activity. I have added our candles to my mental and emotional wellness routine because it is essential and a natural way to help heal my mind, body, and soul. I don’t sell anything I don’t use and believe in myself. I also noticed the positive impact it has on my daughter as she navigates remote learning.
3. Car Escapes – My husband returns home around 7:00 pm. At that time, I am completely spent. Even though the house was clean, homework finished and submitted, dinner made and kids ate, I would often feel defeated. That’s because I was! I wasn’t taking any moments for me, not even five minutes. I was constantly going and thinking of all the other tasks ahead of me. I started escaping to my car for 30 minutes after my husband returned home. Just the silence alone in the car was magical. I could hear my thoughts and realized it’s something I was missing. I would often call my friends and we would swap jokes. I would pray in the car as well. When I walk into the house after being in the car for a while, I walk in as a new woman. I rejuvenated and renewed woman!
4. Be Present – Many of us are physically in the house or room, but not present! We miss many special moments throughout the day because we are so busy being moms and navigating through this new norm. Soon enough, our kids will be all grown up and we would be wishing for them to return to their younger versions. Throughout the day, I consciously take moments to look up from my laptop (even move away from it) and absorb beautiful moments from our kids. Some moments are simple and some exceptional (like Jasia doing extremely well in her school assessments). Either way, I take the time to look at our kids, be present in the moment, snap a picture in my mind, and store it in my memory bank. 🙂
5. Laugh and Laugh Hard – I know what you’re thinking! You are probably saying, “I don’t have to add laughter to my routine, it’s natural.” It is until it isn’t! Did I mention I am a bubbly person? I love laughing. But I found myself laughing less and less as the months went by. We are living in some heavy times and have been experiencing stress from all areas of our life circle. I have to constantly put in the work. I found things to bring me joy and make me laugh. Whether it’s a funny song, a good ole’ conversation with a friend, or laughing with the kids as we play a silly game. Laughing is crucial to our emotional wellness and health. Mayo Clinic says, “Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. A rollicking laugh fires up and then cools down your stress response, and it can increase and then decrease your heart rate and blood pressure. The result? A good, relaxed feeling.”
6. Go for Short Walks – I know many moms are going stir crazy along with their kids. I know on the East coast it’s getting colder, but taking walks is so stimulating to our mental and physical health. I immediately feel better during and after our walks. The kids do too! I don’t do it very often, but I am slowly trying to increase how many times we go for our walks. Even if it is just around our block. A little goes a long way!
7. Give Yourself Positive Affirmations – Be gentle and patient with yourself. We are all going through it. I love getting positive affirmations from people. It makes me feel so warm and cozy inside. Hey! My love language is “words of affirmation” so it’s vital for me. However, I have learned not to wait for others. Telling ourselves that we matter, and we can achieve anything, sets the tone throughout the day. I know some people add sticky notes around their desk or even near the mirror. Whatever works for you, just do it! For me, I just say it, especially in moments where I may question what I bring to the table or who I am. That way, I control my emotions and ultimately my mood when responding to thoughts.
Bonus: There’s always something that brings us the most joy. Sometimes we say we are too busy to do it, or somewhere along our journey of life, we lost interest in doing it. This could be art, dancing, reading, connecting with the community, pretty much anything. It’s what God gave you to remind you that there are peace and joy in this world and that you are more fulfilled than you think. Tap into that.
