Let’s be real here! Being a loving mom doesn’t mean you want to be around your kids 24/7. In this virtual space, our home is the office, school, daycare, dog house, our business place, restaurant, grocery, and more. We can easily get tired of being in the same space—together!
Both our kids are very close to me, closer to me than they are with their dad. As we navigate through the pandemic, their dad never stopped going to work because of his job. My immediate family is in Trinidad and very few close friends nearby. This afforded me a very close bond with our kids as I am their primary contact and “present parent.” They have always been “closer” to me, but even more now. I constantly feel the pressure of being the sole person for their needs.
Earlier this year, even though I support my husband, I started building resentment towards him for something he couldn’t control. We continue to address those feelings, but thankfully it’s not as prominent anymore. Now, like many moms, I sometimes feel like I’m losing my “ish” when it comes to our kids. There is a lack of physical or mental space as I am constantly surrounded by our kids.
Don’t get me wrong! Again, I love our kids and love spending time with them. Our daughter is my mini-me, and our son is my cuddle bear. They are my blessings and miracles from above. But there’s a lack of balance in many of our lives due to the pandemic. There’s a lack of order of tasks as well, meaning tasks are not lined up one after the other. Instead, they are mounted on top of each other, requiring you to address them at the same time. Think of moms as a spinning top, constantly moving and fulfilling needs, and our minds are constantly revolving around the many things we need to do and complete. How can we be efficient to anyone, even ourselves?
When I try to breathe for a minute and clear my mind, I run to the bathroom. But let’s be honest here, we moms already know that break is non-existent, not even in the bathroom. We are constantly pulled in various directions. I feel like my brain sometimes can’t fully think through a single thought, because the tabs are jumping from one to the next. I saw a meme recently that depicted this and it made me laugh because it was so on point.
Sometimes, for my own sanity, I spend some time in the car to decompress. There are times when I will sit there in silence, no music, no talking, and no noise. I clear my mind and gather my thoughts. There are other times, I would call a friend to talk through my feelings, or to simply connect with them and laugh through it all.
These are my thoughts! We shouldn’t feel guilty, even though I do at times, to get some time away from our kids. As moms, we can’t be the best version of ourselves if we don’t give ourselves time, even if it’s 10 minutes. Try not to rush back if you don’t have to. I found myself doing that as well because naturally we are drawn to being present for our families. Take your time! Go watch a movie by yourself, go for a walk or run. Try to get out of the house, because if you don’t you may be warped into the mommy realm. When you get back in the house, don’t leave self-care at the door. Try to maintain it in the household as well. I usually light our candles from Chaconia Candles, say a prayer, play some music, sing, and get back to the swing of things.
How do you get away from your kids?
2 thoughts on “Sometimes, I Just Don’t Want To Be Around Our Kids”
I felt as if you were reading the pages of my life. I identify and felt you were my twin. Lol. As you referenced its important to cate for myself. I take a break in the bathroom or opt to do the curbside collection for our shopping need just to have some time to hear myself think. I have also learned to not feel guilty when I lock the bedroom and take 30 mins to decompress from the day. I have learnt sometimes its ok to focus on one thing as a time and be gentle with myself when I feel overwhelmed. Still a work in progress but one day at a time.
Hahaha! You are not alone as we moms navigate through this really unique space and time. I love that you said you are being gentle with yourself because that’s a very important part of motherhood. You are doing amazing!