Let me start with this! Parents are not looking for special treatment, just inclusivity mindsets and approaches from their managers. When you set up your next meeting, think about parents on your team and in the workplace. Listen, dads who are the primary caregivers in the house, I see you, but I am writing this article through the lens of being a mom and to other moms.
Moms are struggling to keep it all together! Let’s be real! Moms with younger kids may be sleep-deprived, and moms with older kids are exhausted possibly dealing with a plethora of teenage hormones. Moms are also dealing with virtual or hybrid learning for their kids, and managing all the planning, logistics, and emotions that come with it. Yes, I said logistics! It’s event management every day! lol
I advise you to do a team charter and understand who is on your team. Note if there are parents on your team, their communication styles, cadence, and preferences. It may seem like a lot, but this will help you become a more inclusive manager or team member, driving belongingness. As a result, employee engagement will increase. Check out a few tips below.
Mornings, oh mornings! In the morning, try not to set any meetings around 8:00 or 8:30 am, if at all possible. I understand that not every day will look the same, but don’t make it a habit. Moms are most likely feeding their kids or signing them into Zoom. Yes, not all kids can sign into Zoom themselves. If a mom on your team has multiple kids, most likely she’s doing that and multitasking 10 other things, while trying to look at your presentation. Not healthy for her, or for team engagement.
Many companies have a robust and holistic employee wellness program, yet we often see meetings being set up during lunch or after hours. Let’s start with lunch! It’s so important to pause and take a breath for yourself, and yes, eat lunch. If you have kids, especially young kids, not so much. It’s more about feeding them and guzzling your food, lol. Also, around this time, virtual school usually wraps up. During this time, moms get an earful about how their kids’ day went—or is that just my daughter—and they crave our sole attention. That’s why moms have a hard time attending lunchtime meetings. If they do attend, you will not get the most engagement on that call. More vocal staff may speak up and ask for another time option, but not every staff member will do that. Don’t think, “Well, they should have said something.” Think about how you could have attributed to an inclusive approach to meeting management. Also, please be mindful to end your meetings on time, specifically around lunchtime for the same reasons listed above.
As for setting up meetings and calls after hours…stop it! And I say that in the nicest way! Unless this is a dire emergency, I am sure a couple of hours of pausing would not hurt. Use “delay delivery” on Outlook if you must, and set the date and time for the following day. Ask yourself, “Is this something that needs to be done right away, or can it wait until the morning?” Even if you send the email and say, “Don’t reply tonight,” I personally think it still triggers the employee to add another task to their to-do list. Am I wrong? It also heightens the desire and maybe even anxiety to complete the task.
Another thing, please don’t force or “strongly encourage” moms or anyone for that matter to put on their camera. I understand the need to make virtual meetings more interactive, but even those on camera can lack engagement. Also, unless you missed it above, moms are doing 15 million things at the same time. We are doing our best to keep the flow of the meeting, for ourselves and the team. Trust me, we are saving you from distraction—cute or not! I go on and off of camera sometimes, depending on my 19-month old son’s behavior at that moment. As for my six-year-old daughter, she loves connecting with my co-workers. I have discussed the importance of meetings and defined parameters about when she can join to chat.
Lastly, moms, I welcome you to stand confident in your motherhood aka #momlife. I am transparent in the beginning of meetings, especially if it’s with someone who doesn’t know my family household or external meetings. I add in a disclaimer that I have kids, and may even let them know the age, so they understand the dynamics. However, I would never apologize for having my kids with me, or about motherhood. I am a hard-working mom, with two amazing kids, and we are navigating through this space in the midst of a long-lasting pandemic.
